From The Onion

Every blue moon or so, I’ll log in to The Onion just to see if they have anything funny. They usually do. Occasionally, they have something brilliantly funny. Unfortunately, they schmutz up their comedy with so much foul language and offensive content that it’s not enjoyable or recommendable, and so I seldom go there.

But here’s a good piece I just found:

Congress Abandons WikiConstitution

September 28, 2005 | Issue 41•39

WASHINGTON, DC—Congress scrapped the open-source, open-edit, online version of the Constitution Monday, only two months after it went live. "The idea seemed to dovetail perfectly with our tradition of democratic participation," Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid said. "But when so-called ‘contributors’ began loading it down with profanity, pornography, ASCII art, and mandatory-assault-rifle-ownership amendments, we thought it might be best to cancel the project." Congress intends to restore the Constitution to its pre-Wiki format as soon as an unadulterated copy of the document can be found [SOURCE].

The problem of finding an unadulterated copy is more difficult than you might think since the fact is that we’ve had a functional WikiConstitution for a while now. For the last number of decades, nine black-robed hackers have been logging in without authorization to made changes in American constitutional law without going through the democratic process spelled out in the document itself.

Author: Jimmy Akin

Jimmy was born in Texas, grew up nominally Protestant, but at age 20 experienced a profound conversion to Christ. Planning on becoming a Protestant seminary professor, he started an intensive study of the Bible. But the more he immersed himself in Scripture the more he found to support the Catholic faith, and in 1992 he entered the Catholic Church. His conversion story, "A Triumph and a Tragedy," is published in Surprised by Truth. Besides being an author, Jimmy is the Senior Apologist at Catholic Answers, a contributing editor to Catholic Answers Magazine, and a weekly guest on "Catholic Answers Live."

3 thoughts on “From The Onion”

  1. The WikiBible will be next.
    I’m surprised the folks at the Jesus Seminar haven’t thought of it already.
    (Possible promo line:”A living and growing scripture, for a dying and shriveling movement”)

  2. Perfect! I haven’t visited The Onion for a long time because the humor just wasn’t as it used to be. I think they’re coming back. The WikiConstitution is hilarious! I like Tim’s idea but the problem with that is it already exists.

  3. I advise against anyone going to the Onion ever. When they do have offensive jokes, they can be sickeningly perverse and stick in your mind due for a long while.
    I liken it to Seinfeld–a hilariously funny show that regularly included perverse comedy.
    Peace in Christ!

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