Vatican Express

Vaticancc_1 A few weeks ago I actually found myself contemplating getting a Starbucks credit card since I often find myself heading in there for a hot chocolate and a gossip-fest with my sister and a mutual friend. Then I came to my senses and decided not to drink materialism’s Kool-Aid by getting plastic to buy a cup of cocoa.  In any event, the Curt Jester has devised a credit card offer that I’d like to find in my mailbox: The Vatican credit card, the slogan of which is, naturally enough, "Don’t leave Rome without it!"

"Sure you receive offers everyday in the mail and you promptly throw them away, but this offer is truly different. Tired of false promises and fine print that discloses how you are going to be raked over the coals if you actually charge anything? Tired of big banks that will only get bigger by charging you a fortune in interest and late fees. If you are tired and disillusioned by business cons then you will actually love this new credit card that actually delivers on its promises.

[…]

"But wait there is more! Each member gets automatically enrolled in our debt warning system. If your charges become disordered in relationship to your salary automatic stewardship warnings are mailed to your house or sent via email. Our group of dedicated contemplative money managers will also immediately start asking St. John of the Cross to intercede for you in the area of detachment from material things.

"From the Church that brought you Western civilization finally there is a name you can trust on the card you carry around with you in your wallet."

GET THE POST.

Sign me up as quickly as possible so I can be sure to use it next time at Starbucks!

12 thoughts on “Vatican Express”

  1. Nice try Eric, but if we’re talking credit cards it’s more like the Catholic Church trusting *you* with *its* money!

  2. Michelle:
    I’m surprised you frequent Starbucks — they are a supporter of Planned Parenthood, and endorse the homosexual agenda right on the cups.
    I get frustrated quite often when I discover that a company I frequent or a product I use is somehow linked with immoral activities and groups.
    Maybe we need a Catholic based coffee shop – maybe it could be called “Holy Java” or something like that, and feature regular speakers about topics of interest to the faithful.
    Blessings on you,

  3. Perhaps the card could automatically make a deposit in the treasury of merit everytime you used it.

  4. I love Starbucks hot chocolate! I get one most every morning on the way to work. Grande, five pumps chocolate, no vanilla, no whip, extra hot!
    I didn’t know they support Planned Parenthood. Where can I find out about that?

  5. I can just imagine some teenage girl (or me, the university student) “Um…this isn’t my card, it’s my Daddy’s.” *Rimshot*

  6. FYI – By changing the letter in the link of the matching gift companies – the last part of the link is /match_a.xml/ (change the “a” to each letter) – you can see the whole list, alphabetically. I couldn’t figure out how to get to the entire listing besides doing that. :-\

  7. Usary and its abuse has led to more civil strife and unrest in the past 1000 years, than issues of race, religion or ethnicity.

  8. I don’t think we should correlate credit cards with religion too much. The way we use them is more important. For as long as the offer is better like this 1st Vatican, then there should be no hindrance of using it, although I would avoid companies agrees with gay campaigns. It’s against my belief as christians.

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