NARNIA: The EU And US Are Bullies!

Narniadelegation_1

So the official delegation of the State of Narnia to World Trade Organization have walked out of talks with the world powers and gone home.

"’The independent state of Narnia has walked out of trade negotiations here [Hong Kong], citing pressure from the EU and the US to enforce liberalisation of its garment-related sector,’ read the story.

"It went on to quote Narnia’s spokeswoman ‘Susan Aslan’ attacking ‘bullying by EU and US delegations,’ adding its representatives were returning to the capital Cair Parvel."

Once the mainstream media finally caught on that the "story" was a spoof planted by a jokester, it shamefacedly pulled it off such business sites as Forbes.com:

"A Day Today-style story claimed the state of Narnia had walked out of the World Trade Organisation talks in Hong Kong because it was fed up with being bullied by the US and Europe.

"The wind-up was posted on news wires on Sunday and stayed up for nearly an hour — long enough for it to be picked up by top business websites, including Forbes.com."

GET THE STORY.

(Nod to Mark Shea for the link.)

Next thing you know we’ll see stories on how Hogwarts has received accreditation and King Kong has been rescued by PETA.

Feel free to suggest more such spoofs in the combox.

10 thoughts on “NARNIA: The EU And US Are Bullies!”

  1. It’s Susan Pevensie, for Heaven’s sake, not Susan Aslan. That should have given it away immediately.

  2. I have been wondering about King Aragorn’s border poliy with the Southron Kingdoms.
    Technically, you mean King Elessar, since he took a new name upon being crowned king of Gondor and Arnor. That was left out of the movie (though IIRC Galadriel once addressed him as Elessar in the first film, though that might have been in the Extended Edition alone).

  3. Publius,
    If you pay attention during the battle at the Black Gate toward the end of ROTK, at one point you can hear “Elessar” whispered (presumably it is Sauron’s voice). This is in the Extended Version for sure, I’m not certain if it’s in the Theatrical.

  4. Ah, there’s nothing like confirming your sources! Unfortunately, in much of the media today, there really IS nothing like confirming your sources.

  5. Edward,
    I thought the voice was whispering Aragorn (although I have only seen the Extended Version once since I prefer the normal version). Anyway, it is never fully explained.

  6. How about something on the trial of Sauron for war crimes? Have pics of the former evil incarnate in his tidy whities emerged?

  7. Sauron was just defending his homeland. He had no plans to attack any other nation. Nor did he give any aid to the orcs who attacked Rohan. The REAL war criminals are Aragorn, Gandalf, and Eomer.

  8. Also, the attack on Helms Deep was clearly provoked by the one-sided support that Rohan gave to Gondor.
    Though the loss of life and property was grevious, the first thing that Theoden King should have done after the battle, obviously, was to apologize to Saruman for forcing his hand.
    But n-o-o-o, Theoden had to ride to war against Mordor – WHICH HAS NEVER BEEN SHOWN TO BE DIRECTLY INVOLVED WITH THE ATTACK ON HELM’S DEEP – just to enhance his reputation and cover up the whole Wormtoungue affair.
    Had Rohan chosen neutrality (it’s only fair!) in the struggle between Gondor and Mordor, things might have been different.
    And I’m sure that Mordor’s refusal to recognize Gondor’s right to exist was merely rhetoric, as might have been known if more trouble had been taken to understand their culture.

  9. And those Pevensie kids and their performing Lion invaded Narnia, a peaceful land that was a threat to no one. Queen Jadis(derogatorally called “The White Witch” by a few sickos) was a benevolent ruler who truly cared for her people, participating in the “Snow for Food” program in order to feed them and get them medicine. Yeah, it’s true she once or twice used weapons of mass destruction(her wand, which turned people to stone) on her own people, but those reports are greatly exaggerated. Besides, nobody’s perfect.

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