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April 11, 2006
A Stray Thought. . . .
(Jimmy Akin)
I was thinking about how the different meat industries have their own slogans, like:
BEEF! It's What's For Dinner!
Or
PORK! The Other White Meat!
Or
CHICKEN! . . . (Actually, I don't know if there's a chicken slogan.)
But maybe the meat industry as a whole needs to have a slogan to put up a united front against the ravening hordes of vegetarianism.
Homer Simpson's shrewd observation could be a good one:
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat.
But then it's good advertising practice to advertise new and improved features of your product (even if they aren't new and improved), so maybe something like:
ANIMALS! Now With A Yummy, Meat-Filled Center!
Just a thought.
What would your meat industry slogan be?
Posted by Jimmy Akin in Curios & Humor | Permalink
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Comments
Sounds like a job for PETA.
People for Eating Tasty Animals.
Sorry, couldn't resist. ;^)
Posted by: Jon | Apr 11, 2006 6:18:01 AM
MEAT. Because vegetables are for decoration.
Posted by: BillyHW | Apr 11, 2006 6:28:28 AM
I love all God's critters. Especially on a plate.
Posted by: Barbara | Apr 11, 2006 6:41:01 AM
"Just eat it."
Posted by: AmericanPapist | Apr 11, 2006 6:48:07 AM
"CHICKEN!...(Actually, I don't know if there's a chicken slogan.)
Is that a chicken joke? (I'm dating myself, I know).
Posted by: bill912 | Apr 11, 2006 6:48:10 AM
Here's some suggestions:
"CHICKEN! It tastes like everything!"
"Meat - what else are you going to eat with potatoes, more potatoes?!?"
"Meat - making human brains larger for thousands of years"
"Meat - you don't want to get beat up *all* the time, do you?"
"Meat - most of it's kosher..."
"Meat. Who cares about Bambi's mom?"
Or, in the style of Bob Barker: "Control the cattle population. Have your cows filleted or butchered today."
"Beef! It's better than cats and dogs (that's right, China!)"
"Meat - the only thing still made in the U.S.A."
"Meat - feeding man's desire to kill and maim for thousands of years!" (okay - maybe that one's not so good...)
"Meat - leather and furs the *only* use for animals?"
(in the same vein)
"Meat - why just use the outside of the animal?"
Pull in some celebrity endorsements:
"MEAT! Jesus ate it...end of story."
"Meat - Ghandhi didn't eat meat, and he's dead."
And finally:
"MEAT! Because veggies don't smell as good on the grill"
Thank you - I'll be in town all week. Enjoy the veal, and don't forget to tip your waitress.
Posted by: Jamie Beu | Apr 11, 2006 6:52:20 AM
"Save Endangered Species--Eat Them! (Hey, chickens, cattle, and hogs aren't endangered, are they?)
Posted by: bill912 | Apr 11, 2006 7:02:51 AM
Sign at a local butcher shop-
"We're pleased to meat you!"
Posted by: Tim J. | Apr 11, 2006 7:06:52 AM
MEAT : no eye teeth for veggies.
Posted by: Ben | Apr 11, 2006 7:08:38 AM
"Save a cow - eat a vegetarian"
"You don't make friends with salad" (Simpsons)
"I didn't evolve my way to the top of the food chain to eat like a rabbit."
"Vegetation? That's not food. That's what food eats."
Posted by: Funky Dung | Apr 11, 2006 7:31:27 AM
Meat: Not just for carnivores anymore. Now omnivore-compatible!
OR...
Incisors were not meant for just carrots.
Posted by: Doogie | Apr 11, 2006 7:33:16 AM
Vegitarian- Indian word for "can't hunt"
Posted by: Dean | Apr 11, 2006 8:04:55 AM
"I get all my veggies through an intermediary"
Posted by: Arieh O. | Apr 11, 2006 8:10:07 AM
In the animal kingdom, vegetarians have eyes on the sides of their heads. Meat-eaters are forward-looking.
Posted by: Fr. Stephanos, O.S.B. | Apr 11, 2006 8:21:10 AM
God said, "Every creature that is alive shall be yours to eat..." (Genesis Ch 9, verse 3)
Posted by: Paul Smith | Apr 11, 2006 8:28:46 AM
If God didnt want us to eat meat..why give us canine teeth?
Posted by: Mark | Apr 11, 2006 8:36:05 AM
Relax. Kill more than you can eat!
Posted by: John J. Simmins | Apr 11, 2006 9:13:07 AM
"For every cow you don't eat, I'm gonna eat two."
"Meat, feeding omnivores and carnivores since 350,000,000 B.C."
"If we're not supposed to eat them, why did God make them taste so good?"
"Canine Teeth; Est. 350,000,000 BC."
"Meat good! Mmm."
Posted by: Justin West | Apr 11, 2006 9:16:25 AM
If a cow could eat you - it would. Stop them before they evolve!
Posted by: Justin West | Apr 11, 2006 9:17:20 AM
Chick-fil-A has a lot of funny stuff with cows supporting the cause of eating chicken. I got a calendar this past Christmas that was pretty funny. You can get a license plate on their website with the words 'Break 4 Chikin' and a picture of a cow holding a paintbrush (obviously having just painted the message)
Posted by: DJ | Apr 11, 2006 9:44:26 AM
We used to argue with our vegitarian friends that you have a MORAL OBLIGATION to eat meat, because the animals WANT to become part of a higher form of life and that's the only way.
Posted by: hippo354 | Apr 11, 2006 9:54:34 AM
MEAT!! -- it takes that terrible vegetable taste out of your mouth.
Posted by: TJR | Apr 11, 2006 10:18:15 AM
If you DON'T eat your meat, you can't have any pudding!
How can you have any pudding if you DON'T EAT YOUR MEAT???!?!?!
Posted by: Tim J. | Apr 11, 2006 10:27:54 AM
Vegans - yet another white meat!
Posted by: Clu | Apr 11, 2006 10:38:52 AM
Vegans - Yet Another White Meat!
Posted by: Clu | Apr 11, 2006 10:40:25 AM
Calm down Sweetheart! I didn't mean that I like to eat cats!
Posted by: Clu | Apr 11, 2006 10:41:04 AM
The commercial starts with a quiet nature scene, like a deer drinking from a pool of water. Then a bear charges out of the woods, pounces on the deer, and tears it to pieces.
The picture fades, followed by the slogan:
"Natural foods are healthy foods. Eat healthy."
Posted by: Sifu Jones | Apr 11, 2006 11:00:01 AM
You know what goes well with meat?
More meat.
Posted by: paul | Apr 11, 2006 11:17:20 AM
Tim J: being the Floyd fan that I am, I am kicking myself for not thinking of that one. I salute you.
Posted by: Joe Ryan | Apr 11, 2006 11:31:59 AM
Peter, Kill and Eat!
Posted by: The Inquisitor | Apr 11, 2006 11:37:35 AM
I'll second that. ;)
Posted by: Funky Dung | Apr 11, 2006 11:38:11 AM
(Scene: a half-naked bearded savage gnaws on a picked-over wildebeest carcass, then is pounced on by a sabre-tooth which drags him off camera.)
"It took your ancestors thousands of years to put you on top of the food chain. Show them some gratitude!"
or simply
"Feed your inner predator!"
Posted by: The Waffling Anglican | Apr 11, 2006 12:08:54 PM
Here in Australia we have ads with actor Sam Neil promoting meat. So that's at least one actor we know that definitely isn't a vegetarian.
Posted by: Rhys | Apr 11, 2006 4:10:13 PM
Meat: Everything Else Is Garnish
Posted by: Vince C | Apr 11, 2006 5:17:46 PM
Tender.
Juicy.
MEAT.
Posted by: Maureen | Apr 11, 2006 5:23:30 PM
LOL! This is the thread with the highest proportion of funny contributions. My vegetable-induced weak contribution:
CHICKEN - crossing the road for your dinner.
HOTDOGS - made with every unmentionable part of a cow, except its excrement
VEGGGIES - where cow excrement goes.
Posted by: Francis DS | Apr 11, 2006 5:35:18 PM
VEGETARIAN. Hitler was one. You don't want to be like Hitler, do you?
Posted by: Nathan Tyler | Apr 11, 2006 6:25:55 PM
"There's room for all of God's creatures. Right next to the mashed potatoes."
I also like Chesterton's dig at vegetarianism:
"The modern vegetarian is also a teetotaler, yet there is no obvious connection between consuming vegetables and not consuming fermented vegetables. A drunkard, when lifted laboriously out of the gutter, might well be heard huskily to plead that he had fallen there through excessive devotion to a vegetable diet"
Posted by: Paul | Apr 11, 2006 8:16:54 PM
Have you ever seen a vegan? All scrawny with dark circles under their eyes...YUK!
That should be enough.
Dr. Graham, the cracker guy, espoused a vegan lifestyle. He died at an early age of............CANCER!!!
A cow has 4 stomachs, you have one... for eating meat!
Kudos for the Marge Simpson "You don't win friends with salad, Lisa" quote. And to Tim J for the Pink Floyd quote.
I used to get nightmares from The Wall as a kid. I used to sneak downstairs to see what my parents and their friends were doing. One night they were watching The Wall. EEEEEEEEK!
Posted by: Dr. Eric | Apr 11, 2006 8:53:03 PM
I hope you didn't walk in on the shaving scene. ;)
Posted by: Funky Dung | Apr 12, 2006 10:05:59 AM
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Posted by: spanking forest | Jan 7, 2008 2:43:34 AM
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