(DAILY PLANET) — Turmoil has engulfed the United Nations. The taxation of trade routes to outlying countries is in dispute.
Hoping to resolve the matter with a blockade of deadly battleships, the greedy Trade Federation has stopped all shipping to many small countries.
While the General Assembly endlessly debates this alarming chain of events, Secretary General KOFI ANNAN secretly dispatches two Jedi Knights, guardians of peace and justice, to settle the conflict.
They fail, leading to unrest in the General Assembly. Several thousand small countries declare their intention to leave the United Nations.
This separatist movment, under the leadership of the mysterious MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD, has made it difficult for the limited number of Jedi Knights to maintain peace and order in the world.
Secretary of State CONDOLEEZZA RICE is returning to the General Assembly to vote on the critical issue of creating a GRAND ARMY OF THE UNITED NATIONS to assist the overwhelmed Jedi.
However, Kofi Annan, mired in "baseless" allegations, is removed from power following a vote of no-confidence and is replaced by the sinister BAN KI-MOON of South Korea, who is voted emergency powers to address the current crisis.
Promising to renounce his emergency powers as soon as the crisis is resolved, Secretary General Ban immediately deploys a clone army developed by disgraced South Korean scientist HWANG WOO-SUK and dispatches them to points all over the globe.
Secretary Ban promises to stun opposition into submission with shock and awe provided by Industrial Light and Magic.
Meanwhile, CONSPIRACY THEORISTS long suspicious of the United Nations begin making preparations at their hidden rebel bases.
AND THE SAGA CONTINUES . . .
