Ode To A Cell Phone

Cellphone

It all started with a cheerful electronically-generated voice telling me that my cellular service provider needed to change the SIM card in my phone and could I please come down to the nearest store location so that this could be done?

So, I headed out to the nearest store location I knew of and found out it was no longer in business. Figures. Eventually I found another location and pulled into the lot. When I entered the store I found out that this must have been the day a whole lot of other people were also told to get new SIM cards. I was in for a wait.

After waiting thirty minutes, more or less, and joking with people in line that apparently the store locations were not given the heads-up on the Great SIM Card Switch, I finally handed my phone over to an employee for service.

"Oh," I’m told, "This phone is too old for the new SIM card. You’ll have to get an upgrade."

Yes, the phone I had was old. I originally purchased it in 2000 when I decided that I would rather not hike to a freeway call box if my car broke down by the side of the road somewhere. I ended up using it more than the two or three times in its lifetime I needed to call AAA from a broken-down vehicle, but I never did upgrade the phone. It was clunky and didn’t do much beyond send and receive calls, but that was all I needed.

But the perk to losing a faithful friend would be a free phone, right?

Riiiight.

For a two-year contract and $20 more — after mail-in rebate — I could get a phone that looked somewhat like my old one but was so small it looked like I’d have to hold it to my ear to hear and then move it to my mouth to speak. So, for a mere $40 more — after mail-in rebate (and that two-year contract), don’t forget — I could get a cell-phone that looked like a phone. It also had a camera, which I thought was neat, but didn’t really need.  I would learn later that it also had a confusing host of other features that I am still trying to figure out how to navigate.

After forking over $85 — after tax of almost $15 — I was the owner of a new phone. "Would you like any accessories today?" asked the clerk who should have just given me a new SIM card or a free phone to compensate for my cellular provider’s decision to reprogram their networks in such a way that they could no longer accommodate long-term customers (six years in my case) who had old phones. It was all I could do not to snort.

You may be wondering why I didn’t protest more forcefully. Well, remember that thirty-minute wait? There was another thirty-minute wait behind me and another gentleman was patiently trying to get redress from the clerks who had basically destroyed his phone by putting in a SIM card that restricted his access and couldn’t be replaced by his old SIM card — because, one, they had thrown away the old one; and, two, because they had already transferred his phone’s information to the new, faulty SIM card. In the face of such suffering by fellow customers, it seemed churlish to raise holy hades at having to pay for a new phone.

Why am I telling you all this? To give you the heads-up on what lies ahead should you receive a call or letter asking you to replace your cell phone’s SIM card. What happens should you choose not to replace it? Funny you should ask. A customer put that very question to one of the clerks.

"Well, your service just keeps getting worse and worse until finally you can’t use your phone at all."

NOTE: Now that I have a cell phone I no longer can use, I was intrigued to find out that there is such a thing as a cell-phone recycling program.

Author: Jimmy Akin

Jimmy was born in Texas, grew up nominally Protestant, but at age 20 experienced a profound conversion to Christ. Planning on becoming a Protestant seminary professor, he started an intensive study of the Bible. But the more he immersed himself in Scripture the more he found to support the Catholic faith, and in 1992 he entered the Catholic Church. His conversion story, "A Triumph and a Tragedy," is published in Surprised by Truth. Besides being an author, Jimmy is the Senior Apologist at Catholic Answers, a contributing editor to Catholic Answers Magazine, and a weekly guest on "Catholic Answers Live."

23 thoughts on “Ode To A Cell Phone”

  1. Ouch. Tough break, Jimmy.
    I think the popular conception that all huge corporations are evil money-grubbers is, in the case of phone companies, true.
    Sprint was charging us around $80 for phone service and DSL. When, after months of high payments I called to complain, an employee said to me in a very leading voice, “sir, are you threatening to dump your Sprint service? Because if you are, well, we’d have no choice but to give you the same service, but cheaper. Ahem.” God bless that guy.
    The fact that a company would reduce payment so easily if I threatened to leave tells me they know there’s comparable cheaper service out there, that a dissatisfied customer could easily find.
    Now sure, we all know the point of capitalism is competition driving the market, and if this were the only case of phone company sneakiness I knew, I’d let it go. But yours and mine are just two of many stories I’m sure we could all mention.

  2. Ouch. I hate to mention this, but when my mobile carrier (who I have been with since 1999 and never signed a contract with beyond the initial one) has had to upgrade something they call me and tell me they are sending me a new phone. Like you, I don’t use the phone a lot and don’t want or need the fancy features. After my initial contract was up I told them I wanted to cancel because I could get what I needed for cheaper somewhere else. They begged me not to leave and offered me a “loyalty plan” that was a better deal than I could get elsewhere (50 minutes a month), so that’s where I’ve been ever since.
    I do sorta envy the camera phones, though.

  3. If you’re a Brit reading this and you’re thinking about ditching your old ‘mobile phone’, consider donating it to Breast Cancer Care to assist them in raising funds so that they can continue to support breast cancer sufferers. They also accept used printer cartridges/toners and possibly other things I don’t know about.
    I can’t do that fancy html link thing, so I’ll just have to c& p the URL below
    http://www.recyclingappeal.com/bcc/

  4. Oh dear, Michelle. I’ve gotten the same letter. I thought I was going to get a free upgrade for my antique. Frankly, I’m not going anywhere till I get one– I’m not paying for a new one when the old one works fine. They’ll also probably want to get me off my cheapie plan that they probably don’t offer any more.
    I’ll probably just bring ALL my kids with me to the mobile phone place… It’s been known to prompt quicker and better customer service in the past. 🙂

  5. Michelle, e-mail me. I’ve never heard of a request to have SIM cards replaced in a phone, and even so, to have a phone replaced due to updated SIM cards. I’m curious to know your service provider and the circumstances. My original phone from almost 10 years ago should stil work with current SIM cards (back when they were credit card size).
    I hope this was some sort of scam.

  6. Michelle, don’t throw away/recycle that old phone yet… there is still some value in it. All cell phone companies are required to take 911 calls, even from phones that are out of service. Can you think of a place you’d like to have a phone for calling 911 if it were necessary? This is particularly valuable if you don’t take your cell phone with you everywhere, all of the time. If so, leave the phone (and ideally the charger) in that spot and you’ll always have the piece of mind of knowing that it’ll be there if you need it. I know people who have phones stashed all over the place: their 2nd car (I do that), their boat, their motorhome, their cabin, their motorcycle… where-ever they might find themselves in need of calling 911.

  7. As one whose profession required him to be almost constantly accessible, I resisted cellphones as long as possible. Then a few years ago we got two. One was lost and subsequently returned damaged, but we had INSURANCE, it was a $50 deductible and the phone was only $49. Whoopee!
    As the family grew, we added some more phones. Now we have found that two are no longer needed and the original phone that was lost last week is one of these. The company rep on the phone gladly cancelled one unneeded phone, but informed us that we must continue to pay more than $100 a month for at least two more years for service to the lost and no longer needed phone. Or they would gladly sell us a replacement for “only” $|49. The alternative would be to cancel all our phones and pay a $600 cancellation premium.

  8. Are we morally required to have charity for huge evil corporations? Because I hate them.

  9. Michael:
    Most of the cell phone donations programs are to assist women who are victims of domestic violence. The cell phones are activated so that they can make 911 calls in case their partners try to come back and attack them or otherwise violate restraining orders and that kind of thing.
    Those programs are awesome and I think people should make an effort to donate their old cell phones to such charities. It doesn’t benefit the huge evil corporations.
    Meretrice

  10. I also passed up the chance to have a cell phone that took pictures and could check my e-mail.
    I just want a phone, and sometimes I want to get away from my e-mail and I like having a certain level of plausible deniability.

  11. My wife and I upgrade our phones every two to three years.
    After a couple of years, the battery won’t keep a charge. So rather than buy a new battery (~$60), we just get a new one for $20 or less. We needed to get a new phone for my wife last week. She ended up getting a camera phone for free (plus $14 sales tax) by renewing the two-year service contract.

  12. Cingular pulled this garbage on us last year. It REALLY chapped my hide.
    I don’t want or need fancy features. I just want a plain ‘ole vanilla stinkin’ PHONE!!! ARGGHH!!!
    Pull your heads out of your hineys, evil phone companies and start providing customer SERVICE, not customer RUNAROUNDS.
    This is what I have to say to you evil phone companies…..I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!

  13. Seriously, all flaming aside, wouldn’t the company be obliged, if push came to shove, to ensure I left the store with a working phone? After all, it’s not my fault they decided to “upgrade the network.” From my point of view, if upgrading the network also having to upgrade a certain percentage of phones, then that’s just a cost of doing business. Right??? I’ll definitely have to fight them on this or else just take my business elsewhere.

  14. Michael, corporations aren’t people. People we are to have charity towards, not denying justice to either the poor – or the rich.

  15. Rhys – didn’t you get the letter from your provider saying it was time to upgrade your tin cans to aluminum cans?

  16. Ahh…I was on a loyalty plan too. And then I foolishly cancelled it.
    I think they probably have something written in their 20-page-written-in-fine-print “customer agreements” that negates any free phone upgrades. You know, “The Company reserves the right to upgrade its equipment and require customer to do same” clause.

  17. Michelle, don’t throw away/recycle that old phone yet… there is still some value in it. All cell phone companies are required to take 911 calls, even from phones that are out of service.
    That’s handy info to have. But I have doubts as to how far you can expect this to go if the SIM card, activated or not, is incompatible with a network. Seems that it’s intended to work with compatible SIM cards where a person no longer pays to have an active account.

  18. Puzzled and Michael.
    you are sure right… corporations are not people but interestingly enough, they are having more laws writtten for their benefit, and more rights under the U.S. Constitution…funny how that happens.
    and if anyone here says anything else about the big telecommunications companies, Pres. W. Bush will have an announcement to make shortly reminding us that “I’m talkin’ ’bout Americun jobs! It’s thu economy… can’t touch that.”

  19. I work in the Mobile Phone industry. There are several “modes” used within the industry. PCS, TDMA, CDMA, GMS etc.. One of our clients is phasing out TDMA, which is an older standard, and this will eventually affect all cellular carriers. Also if you have an analog phone, (i.e. one that is older than 6 years, your services will also be phased out and you will also be required to upgrade your equipment. You can thank the FCC for that though.

  20. I apologize for my comment wishing this was a scam. Hopefully it was obvious that I hope this WASN’T a scam. Again, I don’t know why a service provider would require a SIM/PHONE update at customer’s cost. Not a good provider in my opinion.
    TDMA changes will not affect all carriers. My GSM carrier shouldn’t be affected.
    As for switching from analogue to digital, I think this is reasonable for a customer to upgrade to better technology. With current deals, however, I think a customer shouldn’t be put out too much (other than a 1 or 2 year commitment). In the end, this benefits everyone and uses our resources better.

  21. There are so many awesome cell phone cases and other cell phone accessories coming out right now, I don’t know which to get first.

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