Weeeeelllllllll. . . . Isn’t That “Special”

McgowanEXCERPTS:

Meet Kathleen McGowan, novelist and self-proclaimed descendant of a union between Jesus and Mary Magdalene. McGowan, who says she is from the "sacred bloodline" Brown made famous in his mega-selling novel [The Da Vinci Code].

[A]mong believers are her powerful literary agent and the editors at New York publisher Simon & Schuster, who are throwing their weight behind her autobiographical religious thriller The Expected One, out July 25, with a sizable first printing of 250,000 copies.

"Everyone’s going to think I’m on The Da Vinci Code bandwagon, but I’m not," says McGowan, who began working on her book in 1989. The Da Vinci Code was published in 2003.

McGowan originally self-published her novel last year and it sold only 2,500 copies.

Simon & Schuster is spending $275,000 to promote The Expected One and is sending the author on a cross-country tour beginning Aug. 3 in Los Angeles.

Trish Todd, editor in chief at Touchstone, a division of Simon & Schuster . . . says she has no problem believing McGowan’s claim that she descends from a marriage between Jesus and Mary Magdalene. "Yes, I believe her. Her passion and her mission are so strong, how can she not be?"

The Expected One is the story of Maureen Paschal, a woman who begins to have visions of Mary Magdalene, discovers she is a descendant of Mary and Jesus and undergoes a dramatic search for a gospel written by Mary that is hidden in southwestern France. In a parallel plot, McGowan tells what she says is the actual story of the marriage and children of Jesus and Mary Magdalene.

The title of the book, she explains, is taken from an ancient prophecy that tells of a woman chosen by divine providence to bring the real story of Mary Magdalene’s life to the world.

McGowan calls this a novel but says it mirrors her own life. Maureen’s visions, she says, are "verbatim" accounts of her own visions of Mary Magdalene. "Maureen is a fictional character," she says, "but there is a lot of me in Maureen. I know it will be hard for people to accept this, but it’s true."

Though McGowan says she is descended from Jesus and Mary Magdalene, she won’t say whether she, like the fictional Maureen, is "The Expected One."

"I’m not grandiose about this, and it concerns me a lot that I could be portrayed that way," McGowan says. "I don’t want it to appear that I’m standing up and saying I’m the expected one. That’s a dangerous, ego-driven kind of thing."


So far, McGowan is offering only her word about her lineage and only hints at her proof.
In addition to the visions, she says, she has discovered that her family is related to an ancient French lineage that traces its roots to Jesus and Mary Magdalene’s descendants. Legend holds that Mary Magdalene settled in France after Jesus’ crucifixion and resurrection. "That’s all I’m prepared to say right now," McGowan says. Some members of her family, she explains, want her to respect their privacy and not discuss it.

Despite the lack of hard evidence, McGowan’s supporters include her literary agent Larry Kirshbaum, who left his position as CEO of Time Warner Books in December to start his own literary agency. McGowan was one of his first clients and he helped her get a seven-figure, three-book deal with Simon & Schuster. (Her next two books pick up where The Expected One leaves off.)

And USA Today has proven itself perfectly willing to prostitute itself in order to promote this trash, giving the subject voluminous amounts of space meant to promote the book, including an excerpt of the novel itself.

GET THE STORY.

AND THE EXCERPT.

AND A REVIEW.

Here we go again, folks!

Incidentally, McGowan gets further into her novel than Dan Brown did before she makes a literary blunder. The very first word of the first sentence of The Da Vinci Code was a dud. McGowan made it through at least six words before her first sentence started to go off the tracks.

OH, AND HERE ARE KATHLEEN MCGOWAN’S REVIEWS OF OTHERS FOLKS’ BOOKS ON AMAZON. INTERESTING READING MATERIAL SHE’S INTO.

AND HERE’S HER HOMEPAGE.

Author: Jimmy Akin

Jimmy was born in Texas, grew up nominally Protestant, but at age 20 experienced a profound conversion to Christ. Planning on becoming a Protestant seminary professor, he started an intensive study of the Bible. But the more he immersed himself in Scripture the more he found to support the Catholic faith, and in 1992 he entered the Catholic Church. His conversion story, "A Triumph and a Tragedy," is published in Surprised by Truth. Besides being an author, Jimmy is the Senior Apologist at Catholic Answers, a contributing editor to Catholic Answers Magazine, and a weekly guest on "Catholic Answers Live."

47 thoughts on “Weeeeelllllllll. . . . Isn’t That “Special””

  1. …But does she own a bed & breakfast? (See our lovely Australian comedy Kath & Kim that makes fun of Da Vinci Code fanaticism.)

  2. I just read the first paragraph posted on USA Today and nearly busted a gut laughing. I didn’t know that the Romans ‘wrestled’ Marseilles from the Greeks. Was it two out of three pins?

  3. And USA Today has proven itself perfectly willing to prostitute itself in order to promote this trash
    Journalists make the baby Jesus cry.
    :_(

  4. Jimmy, I’m curious how you decide whether to file this under Fiction vs. Curious & Humor. I suppose it’s not nice to laugh at others’ delusions? Sorry about that Kathleen. Hope you feel better soon.

  5. I notice that Kathleen discounts any suggestion she is riding the Duh!Vinci coat-tails, but I’m sure it occurred to Simon and Schuster.
    Personally, I’d like to believe she’s in it for the money. If not, the alternative is that she is a complete wacko. Opportunism I understand.

  6. I woldn’t have guessed that someone with divine lineage would be so,…
    well,…
    ugly.

  7. Reading her reviews on Amazon reminded me of a question that popped in my mind some time ago…
    When is Shirley Maclaine going to announce that she IS (was, whatever) Mary Magdalene and married to Jesus? That book I just might have to read.

  8. Wow, that ugly comment was a bit mean. Ok, it was very mean.
    Anyway, This is just a money making attempt by an author and her publisher. The fact that it was previously self published tells me that no one (publishers) was interested in her story before Dan Brown’s book became famous. Now, they are seeing some dollar signs becasue they know Christians are going to generate tons on free publicity for them when they are upset by her claims and her book.
    If her lineage really was anything more that a scam then she would be all over the place offering to prove her claim.
    Dave

  9. Dave,
    The question is a serious one. Well, half serious. Wouldn’t we expect someone of divine lineage do exude at least some physical attractiveness?
    Unless, of course, she is also attempting to promote the idea that Christ wasn’t divine. Or at least not uniquely divine. Or just a part of the whole divine cosmos consciousness. Or,…
    oh forget it.

  10. Well, seeing this as messiah is a female, we could call her “Savior Moon” except for the fact that “Moon” has already been taken by another savior.
    The figures involved accentuate just how much big business is willing to spend to promote this kind of thing. Ironic seeing as supporters of DVC-esque theories often level the overly-cynical claim that Christianity was just about power and money.
    But Christ did not benefit from lavish book/movie deals and extra-special treatment. He had a hard enough time trying to get people to show him common courtesy, much less the respect due to a Divine Person.
    Christ was outcast and homeless, went hungry, and was eventually killed — all circumstances I bet Kathleen will avoid no matter the cost.
    Persecution deniers like Brown also fail to admit that throughout the 300 years of Christianity most Christians were lion chow. And even when it won favor with Constantine, the empire fell and first the Barbarians and then the Saracens wrecked horrible bloody savagery upon Christians in the following centuries.
    There has always been a persecuted group of Christianity and even in this day when we are accused of being just the shadow of a power-mad empire, Christians are being butchered in the Sudan, boiled in lead in North Korea, executed in China, and “disappeared” in other countries.
    You will not see such examples from Brown et al.
    So which party is really only interested in money and power?

  11. The title of the book, she explains, is taken from an ancient prophecy that tells of a woman chosen by divine providence to bring the real story of Mary Magdalene’s life to the world.
    And the prophet spake thusly: “Lo, in the fullness of time, One will come in the name of the messiah, and in the name of a close personal friend of the messiah, and by then, many with itching ears will question how close the messiah and his friend really were, so the One will explain everything very carefully.”

  12. “so the One will explain everything very carefully”
    How did Keanu Reeves all of a sudden get mixed up with all of this?

  13. James White also just blogged about this bit ‘o news. What I find especially interesting was how he ended this line
    “She says she offers no proof of her heritage, but claims to have traced her geneaology to an ‘ancient French lineage that claimed to trace its roots to the pair.’ Well, isn’t that special?
    ‘Well isn’t that special’? What is it about this story that makes Jimmy and James both reference Dana Carvey’s Church lady — which is what they’re both doing, right?

  14. I’m sorry. If you say you’re from the ‘sacred bloodline’ popularized by DVC, then how in the sam hill are you not on its bandwagon?

  15. I love that excerpt. It makes me feel so much better about my own writing skills. McGowan’s finished novel reads worse than my sophomore students’ first drafts! Simon & Schuster’s editorial staff should be ashamed for not helping her make improvements. At the very least, they could have changed showed her how to write in active, not passive, voice.

  16. “We cannot assume to know what the ancients understood.”
    This sentence from the excerpt sums up McGowan for me. Let’s break it down.
    “We (says the mysteriously shop owner whom McGowan describes as “immaculate” – interesting, no?) cannot assume (she should have used “presume” – but that would mean this glorious tome would have needed the talents of an editor) to know what the ancients (conveniently left undescribed in this passage & only referred to as “Byzantine” – she may come back to it later but somehow I don’t think she’s that good a writer & this will be just another in a long line of frayed loose ends) understood.” It’s this last word that proves the most interesting. She could have used “knew” rather than understood but that choice would connote that these Byzantine ancients she refers to actually had knowledge that is verifiable today. The use of “understood” indicates that any knowledge or truth that society had is dependent on the limited advancements of antiquity compared to what we have today &, therefore, subjective.
    In other words, it’s the old “we today are far more enlightened than every other society that’s come before us & we can look back & scoff at those poor slobs who actually thought Jesus was God incarnate who died for our sins” tripe. Which allows for the inevitable “a-ha!” moment wherin our heroine, Maureen (who cried at the beauty of the Holy Land), will discover that Jesus wasn’t God & that she’s his descendent. Which allows for said heroine to scoff at the poor slobs of today who still cling to the mistaken belief that Jesus really is God. Lovely.
    I also find it interesting that McGowan describes her heroine as a “petite woman with long red hair and fair coloring” when that’s pretty much what she looks like in the publicity photo that accompanies the USA Today piece. Just as Robert Langdon in DVC is described to look (surprise!) just as Dan Brown does on DVC’s dust jacket! Seems these folks are egoists as well as bad writers.
    There’s another of McGowan’s piquant turns of phrase that also describes both her writing ability & her subject matter for me quite aptly: “mantra of hate”.

  17. I wonder if she’s related to the Pogues former lead singer Shane McGowan? Now there’s an interesting looking fellow.

  18. “Roger-Bernard was fond of saying that the greatest light attracts the deepest darkness.”
    Well, that sums up the existence of this book. Funny how the quote came from said book.
    I do think that her writing is better than Brown’s, but not worth what the publisher is laying out for it.
    Can anyone tell me who “Easa” is? If this is a reference to Jesus, it’s the first time I’ve heard this version.

  19. As some have pointed out before;
    If Jesus was not the Incarnate Deity… if he was in fact No One Special, then WHO CARES who his descendents are?
    These yahoos want their cake and to eat it, too. Why in the world should I treat Miss Thang as the stuff of prophecy (“The Expected One”) when she is basically claiming “Vell… Jesus vas just zis GUY, you know?”.
    Crawl back under your rock, madam.

  20. Thing is, Bill, that she is not an authentic moonbat, but a garden variety fraud.
    If she were simply a nut (like, say, if she thought she was a blancmange) then I could possibly work up a little sympathy… but she KNOWS she isn’t any descendent of Jesus, which will doubtless come out in the end.
    She is short on scruples rather than logic. She follows the logic of the marketplace well enough.

  21. Well put Tim J. On both posts. But what if she was a blancmange who was involved in a conspiracy to have the first Scot win Wimbledon?

  22. “Blancmange” – a word I actually had to look up in the dictionary. I learn soooo much reading this blog.

  23. “But what if she was a blancmange who was involved in a conspiracy to have the first Scot win Wimbledon?”
    Now, see? Somebody got my Python reference.
    Not really an intentional reference… more like my mind casting around for the right kind of word and that tennis-playing custard bubbling up out of my subconscious, for some reason.
    Strange how the mind works… at least in my case.

  24. I should have known that the blancmange reference had something to do with Monty Python. Brilliant segue!….. so maybe the author is actually a descendant of Graham Chapman???

  25. Actually, I think she’s descended from Terry Jones, Michael Palin or John Cleese as they were the principle actors in the sketch!

  26. How many of these idiots are we going to have to endure????
    I seriously, seriously, need a “puking my guts out” smiley….

  27. This book just showed up in my weekly Borders email. Do they really have to encourage such people? Is this a sign that people are getting more frantic in their attempt to block out the truth? Is it like a drug that requires ever more ridiculous stories?

  28. Wow. If she’s really a descendant of Jesus, then i must be Peter’s descendant and Jimmy is the descendant of James the Great. Sad how people just show up and claim to be related to some Important Figure. Might as well say we all descended from some Founder of a specific Religion.

  29. I can see a Daughters of the Apostolic College society starting soon! I bet they’ll be snobs!

  30. This is rather like those people who claim to be the reincarnation of famous people. You never hear them say, “In a past life, I was a clam… and also a mangy, evil dog that died after infecting my owners with rabies.” No, they always have to be someone famous.
    I’m descended from my parents. I have documents to prove it, but I’m thinking of sneaking a forged list of my granny’s ex-boyfriends (Winston Churchill, Rasputin, etc.) into the archives of a library in Europe. I have my first chapter done, but I’m waiting for a book deal before I finish the manuscript.

  31. Miss Jean lol:
    If the number of people who are reincarnations of Egyptian princesses are anything to go by, the aristocracy of Ancient Egypt must have vastly out-numbered the common folk.

  32. Miss Jean,
    Actually L. Ron Hubbard claimed that man is descended from clams. In his hilariously absurd book “The History of Man,” man is also descended from the “Piltdown Man.” Later, the Piltdown Man turned out to be a great paleontological hoax.

  33. Dr. Eric, I am mortified that the dumbest joke I could think of was already taken. Truly there is nothing new under the sun.

  34. Being a clam in a past life isn’t as bad as it could be. After all, one could have been a bowl of petunias, a sperm whale, a rabbit…and end up being killed over and over again – by the same person.

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