The Jack-o-lantern From Hell

SDG here with some Halloween jack-o-lantern art guest-blogging.

Every year at Halloween I (SDG, not Jimmy) carve a jack-o-lantern. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s scary, sometimes it’s just… strange.

We take pictures every year, but when I went to look for the pictures for what I consider my most interesting jack-o-lantern to date, I was disappointed to find that they seem to be missing.

However, all is not lost. Inspired by Jimmy’s earlier post about virtual jack-o-lantern carving, I’ve done a quick virtual mockup of my best memory of what the jack-o-lantern looked like.

Again, this is not a photo, just a down-and-dirty Photoshop mockup, but I did really carve this design (more or less; I’m sure it’s not exactly the same), about seven or eight years ago.

I called it "The Hierarchy of Hell," because the inspiration was C. S. Lewis’s imaginative depiction of hell in The Screwtape Letters as a society in which everyone seeks to devour everyone else.

"The Hierarchy of Hell" depicts four concentric heads, each devouring and/or being devoured by others.

After carving "The Hierarchy of Hell," I discovered that my jack-o-lantern had an unexpected but eerily fitting "performance art" aspect: As the pumpkin began to shrivel and decompose, the #2 head slowly began to withdraw into the maw of the largest head, while the mouth of the largest head slowly began to "close" on the other heads!

By the time I finally went to throw the thing away, it had collapsed into a mouldering heap — and when I went to pick it up, it fell apart completely — and there on the ground where the base of the pumpkin had been was the clearly recognizable ruins of the three inner faces, long since fallen back against the floor of the pumpkin, grimacing up at me.

I have to tell you, I felt I had come a lot closer to portraying the reality of hell than I ever meant to!

P.S. I’ll follow up this post with another with some real photos of a pumpkin I decorated (as opposed to carved) at a company picnic this year.

18 thoughts on “The Jack-o-lantern From Hell”

  1. SDG –
    No photos of the “mouldering heap”?
    That’s a cool design… mind if I plagiarize it for the family gourd this year?

  2. No photos of the “mouldering heap”?

    Unfortunately not — although Jimmy suggested that I should repeat the design and take time-lapse pictures showing the shriveling and decomposition in action! Then I would have a photo essay instead of just a good story.

    That’s a cool design… mind if I plagiarize it for the family gourd this year?

    I’d be honored, Tim — on condition that you share the photos of your variation! 🙂

  3. Hey, I thought Tim J was the artist around here! Tim, you better post something fast in order to reclaim your turf.

  4. Hey, SDG, do you mind posting a brief tutotial on the photoshop technique you used to make that image?

    Heh. Yeah, I could do that. I still have the layered source file.
    Seriously though, it was pretty down and dirty — I spent about 20 or 30 minutes on it, tops. Still, I could show you what I did.
    For that matter, I could do a Photoshop tutorial on my hipponetta as well — that would be a lot more interesting. Maybe there’s another guest blog or two in here… Stay tuned.

  5. Are there no teeth in hell? Actually, that would make sense. Who wouldn’t rather be quickly devoured by slashing fangs than slowly gummed to (second) death?

  6. ” Tim, you better post something fast in order to reclaim your turf. ”
    Don’t let that concern you, hippo354, for some time I have been planning SDGs downfall, and now, all is in place…
    Beware!
    BWAH-Hah-Ha-ha!!!

  7. SDG:
    I am suing you for ripping off my idea! ! !
    You shall be hearing from my barrister!
    Just for that, you’ll be consigned to the 8th circle of Hell!
    HAHAHAHAHHA!!!

  8. Pseudomodo,
    You poor illiterate ;^)
    Main Entry: bar·ris·ter
    Pronunciation: ‘ber-&-st&r, ‘ba-r&-
    Function: noun
    Etymology: Middle English barrester, from barre bar + -ster (as in legister lawyer)
    : a counsel admitted to plead at the bar and undertake the public trial of causes in an English superior court

  9. Although, a Starbucks barrister sounds right just about now — I need a Venti Frap ASAP! ;^)

  10. Rats…
    And I thought a Cosmologist was one who studies makeup…
    Actually where I come from some of the Barrista’s at Starbucks have a Law degree because they can’t find a decent job anywhere else.

  11. Actually where I come from some of the Barrista’s at Starbucks have a Law degree because they can’t find a decent job anywhere else.
    Ouch!
    Where are you from exactly (if I might ask)? ? ?
    Actually, it may not be so far from the truth here as well. The state is saturated with Law School graduates.
    About your mention of a Cosmologist, had I not just looked it up, I may have thought the same! ;^)

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